A Testimony of Healing
from Mental Depression and Physical Pain
Six years ago my grandson killed himself and my
already depressing life went from bad to worse.
I was suffering from depression, arthritis and many other conditions
(e.g. irritable bowel syndrome, hiatus hernia, anxiety, sleeplessness and sleep
apnea). My pain seemed to worsen in the
winter, but as the days turned to weeks and months into years, my life just
seemed to be the same day in and day out. I stopped going out because it was
too painful to get dressed, and in the end I just could not be bothered. When my depression got worse, I was always
anxious about something and the negativity was overwhelming.
My sister Lynn was so concerned and kept
trying to keep me sane. She told me on a
number of occasions to go to church, because I was at my best in church, but
because of a bad experience at my last church I decided against it. I plodded on, but my health was getting
worse. I was bumping into things and
over-balancing, forgetting things, and my only light was my sister Loz who was
my carer. However, her health also was not good. She suffered thrombosis and had two heart
attacks, so she had to give up looking after me.
My kids, one a drug addict and the other
an alcoholic, would not listen to my advice.
I had been a big drinker in the past, so I knew how bad it can get. I tried to help and encourage them to stop,
but they thought me a hypocrite, because of all the medication I was
taking. They stopped visiting and
perhaps this was a blessing, because they would always blame their problems on
me for having a breakdown many years ago and trying to kill myself.
I had become very lonely. My dad had moved to Leicester to live with my
sister Lynn and I would only get to see them monthly. I was slowly going crazy in the flat, but was
too afraid to go out. Phoning others was the only option, but it still left me
in the flat. Once again, in our phone
chats, Lynn would say I should go back to church. I decided to get a wheelchair, but it was too
hard to handle. I started to dress in
clothes that were easy to get on and off, and got myself a power chair. My only obstacle now was getting out of the
door. I attempted it with great
anticipation, but soon changed my mind and convinced myself not to go.
One Sunday morning, I had a great urge to
go to church, and, as the Elim church was only down the road, I thought it was
best to go there. If I got a panic
attack, I would be close to home and could get home more easily. I had been to Elim on and off over the years,
but it was only once in a while. But today felt different. I found I was being pulled to go there. When I got in the doorway, pastor Mike opened
the door for me and introduced himself and asked what had brought me. The only thing that came out my mouth was
“God!” I truly believe that it was. I was being pulled to get here, and for once
in my life I felt good. Meeting pastor
Suela was really nice, and I felt so calm and the smiles of greetings from the
church members were most welcome, and I immediately felt at peace. It was a good service and I enjoyed it.
After the service, pastor Suela asked me
about myself and I explained as much as possible. She said she knew someone who might be able
to help me. The next few days were like
a whirlwind. She phoned to tell me a
lady from the church was going to come to see me the next day, and I looked
forward to meeting her. Although she could not speak very good English, her
husband came with her and he spoke excellent English. I liked them immediately. When they agreed to do the job (of helping
and caring for me), I was so happy.
God had his hand on me and was starting to
move in my life. When my kids left me,
my heavenly Father gave me a new family, not instead of my own family, but a
church family in which I feel so loved.
My spiritual family are the biggest blessing from God for me. I will never stop being amazed at what God
can do. Thank you Lord for how wonderful
you are! Before I suffered from
depression and anxiety, but now I am happy and have the joy of the Lord. Before I had my illnesses and pain, I was
lonely and did not trust people, but now I know Jesus’ love and
forgiveness. I regularly speak to people
on the street and tell them what God has done in my life.
In the early weeks at church, I was able
to get up out of my wheelchair and stand up, holding on to the chair in
front. Then, after prayer, I was able to
stand straight up. I would get as much
prayer as I could, and I started to go to the prayer group regularly. One day, I was singing and moving from one
foot to the other, but staying in one place.
After I was prayed for, I continued my little dancing from one foot to
the other, but this time, when I looked up, I found I had moved across the
room. I was amazed! I did not remember moving forward at
all. I continued to improve, and I can
now walk freely around church without walking sticks, and I do not
over-balance. Thanks be to God! I don’t know when it happened, but I also
realised that my depression was gone. I
was happy again and felt really good mentally.
I have reduced all my medication to half
of what I was on. The negativity in my
life has been replaced with joy and healing, and my bad habits are being
changed. One day in the prayer group, my
shoulder was healed. I had had pain in
it for thirty years and could not lift it above my head. But now the pain was completely gone even
though no one had prayed for it, and I can lift my hands right up when I am
worshipping God. I will never stop being
in awe at the blessing my mighty God has given me! I still have a few things to work on, but now
I know that God will heal me completely.
VH
December
2019
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