‘…and they hid from the LORD God among the
trees of the garden’ (Gen. 3:8)
‘Search me, O God, and know my heart; test
me and know my anxious thoughts. See if
there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting’ (Ps.
139:23-24)
Reading: Genesis 3:1-21
In hiding
WHEN
God looked for Adam and his wife in the garden after they had disobeyed him, to
walk with them and to enjoy fellowship with them, he found that they had hidden
themselves from him. Their sin had
produced fear, shame and feelings of guilt within them, so their reaction was
to run away from God and to try to hide themselves: ‘I heard you... I was
afraid... so I hid’ (Gen.
3:10). They could not face God, so they
tried to hide their sin, out of fear that it would be exposed, and that they
might be rejected and judged. They
understood that they had a problem and they tried to cover up the outward
physical shame of nakedness with fig-leaves, but the real problem was within
their hearts, of course. Sin produces feelings of guilt and inward
shame in our hearts and, as a result, we try to cover it up, being afraid to
face our real inward selves and God.
The
crippling effects of inward shame
Inward shame can be caused in many
different ways: perhaps a problem with alcohol, drugs or pornography which was
rooted in deep, unhealed pain within; perhaps a problem with gambling which
caused divisions within your marriage or family; perhaps the guilt and shame
associated with abortion; perhaps inappropriate sexual activity or an ongoing
problem with lust and pornography; perhaps the pain of a divorce which was
accompanied by nasty infighting between you and your spouse; perhaps the shame
of a prison record and guilt over what brought it about; perhaps simply a
memory of something which happened many years ago, the pain of which still
torments you, and so on. Abuse in
childhood (for which you were not guilty) causes deep unresolved feelings of
shame which can bring about inward torment stretching well into adult years.
The
effects of inward shame caused by sin can be spiritually crippling and can bind
us.
Hiding things deep within, because we do not want to be known by others
on those points, only causes us to isolate ourselves. Such isolation then makes us easy targets for
Satan, the accuser, who delights to prey on areas of inward shame and to
torment us with thoughts that we can never get free of this thing, or be
wanted, accepted or forgiven by God or worthy of his love, or accepted by
others (cf. Zech. 3:1).
So we can end up becoming the
despairing victims of ongoing, unseen, inward torment. We cannot face or forgive ourselves, and we
do not open up to others out of fear of their scrutiny, as they might simply
judge, criticize and perhaps gossip about us.
We are isolated within, bound to the memory of the shame. We do not grow beyond it and are not released
from it to serve God in real freedom. In
our inward dysfunctionality, we end up struggling with a toxic mixture of
shame, fear, guilt, failure, embarrassment, unworthiness, self-rejection and
the fear or assumption of being rejected by others and by God, perhaps even
thinking that there is something defective about us as a person.
Furthermore, it may well be true that
if we opened up and shared an area of inward shame with some kinds of religious
people, hoping for their help, then, rather than responding with an attitude
which reflects the grace and love of God and which can help in setting us free,
they might react with a judgemental or critical attitude. Of course, this then only compounds the shame
we feel and keeps us captive to it, so making it even harder for us to open up
again.
The
shame of the cross
In order to deal with Adam’s and his
wife’s inner problem, God exposed it in
grace and love. Although there were
consequences for them after their fall, yet God did not reject them, and he
gave them garments of skin to be clothed with, to replace the fig-leaves they
had made for themselves (Gen. 3:21). The
fig-leaves were not enough to remove the real inner problem of sin and shame (cf.
Isa. 28:20). God provided for them a better covering through the shedding of
blood. This points to the forgiveness,
redemption and righteousness made available through the shedding of Christ’s
blood (Eph. 1:7 and cf. Rev. 6:11; 7:9,13-14).
However we try to cover up our inner problems, it is no use before
God. He can see through to our hearts
and can see what lies within us, but he has also provided the way for us to be
forgiven and cleansed deep within, and to be truly freed and released from our
sin and shame (Rev. 1:5b).
When Jesus was crucified on the
cross, he bore ALL our sins, so that God could bring forgiveness to anyone who
accepts his saving work. However, what
is not often emphasized is that his
atoning work on the cross also deals with our deep, inward shame. Jesus was crucified naked, in public, outside
the city on a hillside where everyone could see (Heb. 13:13). In this open, public exposure, he experienced
the intense, inward agony of what it was to feel shamed, mocked and humiliated
(cf. Isa. 50:6-7). He was not able to
hide. He was openly ‘despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and familiar with
suffering’ (Isa. 53:3). So in
his atoning work he knew and identified with shame: ‘he endured the cross, scorning the shame’ (Heb. 12:2).
Hence, when we come to Jesus, we come
to one who, although he was without sin himself, yet he understands our own
deep, inward feelings of shame, and so in grace he can reach down into the
deepest points of our shame and heal us right there, forgiving us for whatever
caused the shame, and freeing us from the binding effects it has had on
us. In
his grace, his own open exposure in shame brings us inward healing for our
shame.
However, God does not simply know
what we are deep down inside, he also
loves us even more deeply. In our
shame, we find it easy to believe that he might reject us, but actually his
grace and love for us are unconditional, never-ending and indeed
extravagant. Jesus took ALL our sins
upon himself on the cross. Our points of shame are precisely the
places in our life that God would want us to open up to him, so that he can
lavish his grace, love, acceptance, cleansing and healing of us on these points.
Our shame does not cause him to reject
us; he is not offended by the symptoms.
Binding up the broken-hearted was why Jesus came (Isa. 61:1). So he accepts us and yearns for us to be
healed and set free from our shame and from the effects it has had on us, to
then be able to walk in deep, inward assurance of his everlasting love and
acceptance of us. He is FOR us: ‘The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty
to save. He will take great delight in
you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing’
(Zeph. 3:17, cf. Rom. 8:31).
This deep love of God, by which we
are brought into freedom before him, removing our sense of shame, can again be
discerned in many examples in Scripture.
The prodigal was received back with compassion, he was forgiven and
clothed, and there was a feast for him.
After his denials, Peter was re-commissioned in mercy and love (John
21:15-19). The unknown, sinful woman who
anointed Jesus’ feet in Simon the Pharisee’s house, was very aware within
herself of Jesus’ forgiveness and she responded with deep love for him, and was
sent away in peace (Luke 7:36-50). Similarly,
when she was brought to Jesus, the woman caught in adultery found herself with
no accusers, and was not condemned by Jesus, but was told to go and sin no more
(John 8:3-11), and so on.
Steps
to inner freedom and healing
If shame gets hidden
in the intimacy of our hearts, then healing from shame is also an intimate
ministry. What has been ministered in
intimacy then needs to be handled wisely before other people. Testimony can and should indeed be given to
bring glory to God, but not all the details need to be shared or should be
shared, except with those whom we know can handle what they hear with wisdom,
discretion and maturity.
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